TW: Rape and mass violence.
I need to get out a reflection on my most recent project: MAY 1998 which closed almost two weeks ago on December 16th, after a four-night season at the Motley Bauhaus. I need to get out a reflection before the end of the year because it's important to contemplate every important thing you've done.
I'm not going to repeat a summary of my project because you can read it on my website. It was a one-woman production on the May 1998 Riots - my most personal project yet, my acting debut, and my portrayal of one of the most horrific atrocities in Indonesia through the point of view of a single survivor. And I can't write this without also reflecting on Surat-Suratnya: a project on the 1965 massacres in Indonesia made up of a monologue (The Last Dinner Was Sayur Lodeh) and an installation (Between the Letters) by Ria Soemardjo.
Surat-Suratnya was also a deeply personal project, based on the letters and life of Ria's mother, Helen, in Jakarta from the years 1965-67.
Both artworks were simple, tender, intimate, and filled with love: I cried almost immediately when I entered Ria's installation, where she sat in the center, playing a gong, and surrounded by a drape of sheets. The Last Dinner was written and delivered directly. Ellen Marning as Helen cooks as she shares with the audience her experiences, and her feelings and reactions. It is possibly striking to you that an event as bloody as 1965, where an estimated 500,000-1,000,000 Indonesians were murdered, tortured, or kidnapped could be relayed with such gentleness. But when I was writing MAY 1998, I also grappled with the issue of portraying or talking about violence.
May 1998 saw the mass rapes of hundreds of women, burnings, and killing. There are scenes in my monologue where I remember the violence, I discussed it, but there are points when you wonder should I have gone farther? What I mean is that there are things that happened in May 1998 which were absolutely atrocious and disgusting, and the same can be said for 1965. The mass rapes of '98 involved gang rape. It involved forced oral sex and the forced insertion of objects into women's vaginas. When I first really delved deep into the events of May 1998 I was angry and determined that everyone should know about this. Everyone needs to know about the scale of the cruelty and evil which was committed. I still believe this, but my views on how these stories should be told has changed.
I once read a quote from Rani Pramesti, the creator of Chinese Whispers and another Chinese-Indonesian artist who I highly respect and admire, who said that in her work she chose not to depict some of the most graphic parts of the May Riots out of respect to the victims. And this made me rethink my approach.
People need to be invited if they are to listen to a story. Especially in regards to stories like these. Gentleness is required, sensitivity, strength, and support. And respect.
Many survivors and victims of '65 and '98 are still alive to this day. My family was impacted, and so many of the people I know and love and respect.
How do you portray violence? How do you tell these stories? I think you should do the best you can. I think if anything comes from a place of genuine respect and love it will result in a beautiful piece of work. And you can never tell the full story. I never aimed to write about the full events of May 1998, which is why I chose to tell it from the point of view of an individual. Every individual is different, because no one is ever just a victim, a survivor, or a hero. Everyone is human and has their own story to tell.
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